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On my way back.

I’ve been gone for awhile. Not gone gone, but definitely pulled inward. For like…the last 6 years or so.

What started as a time zone barrier in talking to my friends and family as much while I was overseas developed into a deep mental isolation that brought me through levels of myself that I didn’t know existed.

Sometimes it was dark and scary, but mostly it was beautiful and expansive.

Much of it was tied to my feelings of self-worth as they related to my sudden and unexpected dependence on my husband when his career took us to England and mine was stalled as a result.

Compound that with going into business as me, myself & I, after thinking I had my whole career lined out. Degrees. Commitments to service. Student loans out the ass.

I mean, who was I to ‘be an artist’ after so many years of work and dedication to helping others? It was who I was. How could I just start saying I was something else?

I was spinning.

The anxiety attacks had been ugly since Macedonia, and I finally recognized them as something I needed to ask for help with. Something I don’t do much.

My doc introduced me to Zoloft and the world changed. 10/10 highly recommend.

Anyway, now that we’ve been stateside for two years and the time zone barrier isn’t as much of a thing, my tendency to go inward versus touch base or catch up with a friend/family member still wins.

And I have guilt about it.

But I suppose my guilt about it doesn’t outweigh my super intense desire to create a successful business and be an example for other women who have such dreams they wish to fulfill.

I’m hoping to get better at balancing this in the coming years, but it could also be that I just don’t like to talk on the phone as much as I used to 🙂

Re-emerging after a lengthy period of isolation and inner exploration is bumpy, and can feel socially awkward at times.

But I’m working on it, and learning more about my Self constantly.

<3

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10 ways to get back in tune (with nature AND yourself)

connect with nature, alignment, natural healing

1. Go for a walk (without music). Make a point to listen to just the sounds that the earth is making. The breeze blowing through the leaves and grass, the birds, the water if you’re near it.

2. Meditate. This doesn’t have to be difficult or even lengthy. Just silence everything for a minute. Listen to your soul. Your intuition. That is your Self speaking. She knows all the things. Trust her.

3. Touch the earth. Go outside barefoot and walk in the grass. Sink your toes-ies into the sand. Make a mud pie with your kids. Sit your ass in the creek. Really FEEL it.

4. Invite nature in. This can look many ways. Houseplants if you can keep them alive (I’m working on this), are aesthetically pleasing as well as cleansing to your air. An indoor water fountain. A beautiful piece of nature art. See what I did there? 😉

5. Plant a garden. It can be flowers, herbs, or a full on crop of vegetables if you have the time and patience. Flowers support our bee population (aka life) and bring so much beauty and joy to your space. If you go the veggie route, growing something from start to finish is incredibly satisfying, and it tastes so much better.

6. Get into it. Go kayaking. Go snowshoeing. Skiing. Hang gliding. The level of casual or extreme is up to you. But give yourself a perspective that you wouldn’t see otherwise, and be present in that moment.

7. Look up. The stars are incredible. Our universe is vast, and we can only see a tiny fraction of what it holds. If you can’t see them, make a plan to get somewhere you can for a weekend. You won’t regret it.

8. Pay attention to the details. The veins on the leaves. The subtle color changes in a flower petal. The beautiful textures and variations of the tree bark. The perfect spiral in a sea shell.

9. Start a fire. Safely, of course. Build a firepit in your backyard. Have a fire on the beach. Go camping and cook your food over the flames. There are few things as wonderful as listening to the crackling of a fire, watching the flames and feeling the warmth on your face. Mmmmhmmm.

10. Take it off. And by this, I mean skinny dip. At least topless. Bonus pleasure points if there’s a nice warm breeze. Throw both hands in the air and revel in your Goddess-ness.

Do YOU have any ideas to add to this list? Tell me about them in the comments! I would LOVE to hear from you.

 

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A Story of Healing

Sometimes, I get the most beautiful notes from my Collectors. This one was particularly important to me, as it demonstrates something very meaningful to me, and the kind of healing that I want to foster for those that view my work.

The Collector’s name and artwork title have been withheld for his privacy.

“This is uncomfortable to say…I have seen and been through things that no human being should. I have been to Afghanistan, Bosnia and other countries…I have been shot at, mortared and almost blown up more times than are ok. I don’t say this as a badge of courage, but as a prelim to say that our piece of Emily’s artwork is my center. When I wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat, I go to the bathroom…I see it on the wall above the tub and it calms me, it soothes me. It reminds me that there is beauty and good in the world…and all is well.” – An Appreciative Collector

PTSD is a serious issue that millions of people face, and there are several methods of attempted treatment. Knowing that I can bring a little slice of peace to one survivor means the absolute world to me.

I am so grateful.

 

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